I used 'Local dog breeder fears life in prison'. I used this article as it was automatically got the intended audience's attention. Being a local breeder shall interest the people of Haverhill as one of their community members has broken the law in such a cruel way.
My first draft of 'Local dog breeder fears life in prison':
Seven unwanted Alsatians were found dead and four more Alsatians severely injured, in an abandoned Genzyme warehouse in Haverhill, on Monday 3rd December. Matthew Sparks, 34, had been breeding dogs illegally in the warehouse, he was arrested by police and remanded in custody after being found guilty of cruelty to animals under the Protection of Animals Act, first passed in 1911. This penalty also carries a fine of up to £6,000, if found guilty Sparks will receive a maximum sentence of ten years in prison.
Inspector Brown, who found the dogs commented, “Sparks had been breeding dog illegally for approximately 7 months and inbreeding Alsatians which is going against regular animal cruelty laws. When we found the state of the dogs to be horrific. The stench was horrendous and the dogs looked like they had not been fed for weeks on end.”
After a post-mortem on the dead Alsatians it was found that all seven of the deaths were caused by dehydration and malnourishment. The evidence of this will be used against Sparks in court on Tuesday 11th December.
Review:
I re read my article and compared it to another local article in the Haverhill Weekly News, and then decided to make a few tweaks to my article.
Second draft of 'Local dog breeder fears life in prison':
Seven unwanted Alsatians were found dead and four more Alsatians severely injured, in an abandoned Genzyme warehouse in Haverhill, on Monday 3rd December. Matthew Sparks, 34, had been breeding dogs illegally in the warehouse and was arrested by police and remanded in custody after being found guilty of cruelty to animals under the Protection of Animals Act, first passed in 1911. This penalty also carries a fine of up to £6,000. If found guilty, Sparks will receive a maximum sentence of ten years in prison.
Inspector Brown, who found the dogs commented, “Sparks had been breeding dog illegally for approximately 7 months and inbreeding Alsatians which is in breach of animal cruelty laws. The state we found the dogs in was horrific. The stench was horrendous and the dogs looked like they had not been fed for weeks on end.”
The Veterinary surgeon linked to this inquiry found the Alsatians deaths were caused by dehydration and malnourishment. The evidence of this will be used against Sparks in court on Tuesday 11th December.
Review:
I decided to use this article in the inside page as the main article of the page as it was very attention grabbing on the audience. I had also presented this article title as a teaser on the front page of our local newspaper as it was shocking that a local community member would do such a horrible thing.
Although I would find taking the photograph of malnourished Alsatians it is possible to get a photograph of a man being arrested for the crime.
Samuel Ward contributes to charity
Article carrying on from the front page...
Although I would find taking the photograph of malnourished Alsatians it is possible to get a photograph of a man being arrested for the crime.
Samuel Ward contributes to charity
Article carrying on from the front page...
… Daniel Wright, 47, commented, ‘I was heartbroken when my wife died of breast cancer four years ago and that is why I decided to start a local charity. I wanted to help others who had been in the same situation as me. For a local school to raise £6,476 for a local charity means so much to me, so many people will be grateful. We give one third of the money to the main breast cancer charity and they use the money to research trials to help find a cure. The other two thirds of the money is kept in our local charity fund which help provides nursing to those local community members that are unfortunately suffering from breast cancer, the money also offers support for those that have recently lost.’
Review:
I decided not to use this on the inside page but to use it on the front page of my local newspaper and to make the font smaller so it all fits on together, this was a coincidence that my font for the front page was too large for a local newspaper. When adding the text and reducing the size it looked a lot better and I was therefore very happy with my outcome of my front page.
School does their bit for Sport's Relief:
Review:
I decided not to use this on the inside page but to use it on the front page of my local newspaper and to make the font smaller so it all fits on together, this was a coincidence that my font for the front page was too large for a local newspaper. When adding the text and reducing the size it looked a lot better and I was therefore very happy with my outcome of my front page.
School does their bit for Sport's Relief:
Many people gathered together on Friday 23rd March 2012 to help raise money for Sport’s Relief charity. Samuel Ward Academy took part in the event with a sponsored one mile run.
Over 850 students took part in raising money for charity and from this Samuel Ward Academy accumulated a grand total of £5,000 for Sport’s Relief charity.
All students that completed the mile run put their own twist on the syle in hich they crossed the finish line. Some sprinting the mile, and making a new record time, others hopped the mile and some managed to do a fifteen-legged walk. From the positive attitudes from everyone the day was very successful, even dispite the unexpected rainfall at the end of the year 11’s mile run.
The student council of Samuel Ward decided upon that each member, including staff and students, should wear red in order to represent the Sport’s Relief charity occasion. Some members of staff took this is the extreme and four staff members, from the English department, attended school in their matching red pajamas, which recieved a lot of laughs from the pupils. Yet it was all for a good cause.
Sport’s Relief is a charity that raises money for a range of people in the UK and around the world. Helping children, in the UK, who are carers for their parents to Mothers who are suffering from HIV and cannot afford treatment, in Africa.
From the money Samuel Ward Academy raised Sport’s Relief are able to clothe 1,000 children living abroad or help 500 people suffering from dementia in the UK or even transform five communities in the poorest parts of Africa by providing uncontaminated, safe water for them to drink.
Mr Kane, head of the PE department, said: “Every year Samuel Ward Academy raise money for Sport’s Relief, we have been doing it for 9 years now, but this year was exceptionally amazing. We raised more money than we ever have before and the day was really enjoyable for everybody who took part. Everyone was really hands on and wanted to do their bit. Even the run up to Sport’s Relief we had a number of students stay behind after school to make posters and signs to get everybody ready and organised for the day. And it was really worth it on the day the atmosphere was fantastic. As head of P.E. I was amazed at how many people were enthused into running this mile for Sport’s Relief, it was unbelieveable to see everybody getting so into doing their own bit for charity. It made me proud to be a member of staff at Samuel Ward Academy as you could see the joyous faces of the pupils.”
William Howe, a member of Samuel Ward Academy’s student council, says: “It was a real pleasure it be such a big part of this charity event. The whole of the student council was excited when we found out we were able to have such an input into helping this organisation. We discussed what our ideas where, there was a lot of them, but we came to a descision of non-uniform; wearing red to represent the charity - what a success it was. The whole of the student council was chuffed as it turned out to be such a big hit, with everyone. It made us feel like we accomplished something big, after all we where helping many people from around the world, which was great. All I can say now is let there be many more fun raising events to come.”
Review:
This is the copy of my main article on the inside page. With this I did not write drafts as I felt I was getting use to writing in a formal register, for a newspaper. Instead with everything that I had wrote I would re-read and re-read until I felt that it was the best as it could be.
I felt with this article it connected with the audience, as from my Survey Monkey my audience responded with wanting to see local events and local sport and that is why I included an article on fund raising from their local school as they would then be interested in their local newspaper.
